Dialogue On Divorce

"Always try to keep children in the center and out of the middle of whatever that is." - Lyerly Spongberg" - Lyerly Spongberg Lyerly Spongberg is a dedicated divorce coach whose personal journey through a high-conflict divorce as a single mother deeply informs her professional practice. She views high-conflict divorce as a deeply human experience that affects every aspect of life, from identity and emotional well-being to finances and children. Drawing from her own experiences, Spongberg describes the process as overwhelming, akin to being blindfolded and thrown into a washing machine, emphasizing the need for comprehensive preparation and support during this full-body, full-life transition. By utilizing her expertise as a DCA certified ADR divorce coach and co-parenting specialist, she helps clients navigate these complexities, reduce conflict, and make decisions aligned with their values and future aspirations, with a particular focus on minimizing power imbalances and prioritizing children's well-being.

"For men it's important to feel appreciated, and for women, it is very important to be in charge." - Diana Romanov Diana Romanov, an experienced family law attorney, draws deeply from her own profound personal journey with divorce to guide her clients with empathy and insight. Having navigated a challenging separation while balancing life as an immigrant in the U.S. and studying for the bar exam, she understands the emotional and logistical complexities that can accompany marital dissolution. Romanov's unique perspective emphasizes the importance of building a supportive team that includes therapists to address the emotional aspects of divorce, complementing practical legal advice with compassionate support. Her approach, which advocates for mediation and acknowledges the differing asset division laws in various states, equips her clients to achieve a balanced and informed resolution to their divorce proceedings. Key Takeaways ->Personal experience with divorce influences Diana Romanov's counseling approac

"Nobody can help me, that is the time that actually can be helped. You just have to seek it out and trust the process." - Dr. Lama Bazzi Dr. Lama Bazzi, a board-certified psychiatrist based in New York City, is renowned for her expertise in addressing the mental health challenges associated with divorce. She emphasizes the profound impact that major life transitions, such as divorce, can have on an individual's mental well-being, particularly highlighting the complexities of redefining oneself post-separation. Dr. Bazzi advocates for allowing space for grief as a critical step in the healing process, encouraging individuals to focus on self-discovery and resilience. Her holistic approach incorporates techniques like progressive muscle relaxation and breathing exercises, supporting both mental and physical well-being as individuals navigate the emotional journey of divorce, especially when children are involved. Key Takeaways ->Allowing space for grief is crucial for healing during a divorce ->Understanding

"I saw the shift and when I saw the shift, I felt like this is something that is clearly working for our family and it's something that I really have a desire to help other families with, that we can." - Vivian Meraki Vivian Meraki, a renowned parenting expert with over two decades of experience, offers a transformative perspective on the challenges of parenting through divorce. Inspired by her own experiences, she addresses the high anxiety children often face during this transition, emphasizing the importance of fostering emotional safety and connection. Through her work as a somatic coach, Vivian developed practical tools, such as a 10-minute "heart to heart" connection ritual, to strengthen parent-child relationships and enhance emotional resilience. Her approach, detailed in her best-selling book "Parenting Through Divorce," reframes divorce as a change in alignment rather than a failure, advocating for practices that reduce suffering and foster stability, ultimately empowering families to navigate this

"People think they know what they want, but how would you know if you've never gone through it before?" - Melinda Gould Melinda Gould is a distinguished divorce guide and strategic support partner known for her unique approach to helping clients navigate the complexities of divorce with clarity and steadiness. Drawing from her own challenging divorce experience, Melinda sees her role as vital in addressing the practical, emotional, and logistical aspects of divorce, offering comprehensive support that includes financial organization, communication management, and emotional grounding. Unlike therapists, attorneys, or coaches, she focuses on strategic and logistical elements, helping clients make decisions aligned with their personal values and children's needs while providing steady emotional support. Melinda believes her approach enables clients to emerge from divorce stronger, clearer, and more centered, ready to embrace the next chapter of their lives with confidence and support. Key Takeaways ->Support d

"You shouldn't exhaust yourself trying to create the perfect Christmas for your children, especially if this is really above and beyond. This is a new reality. This is a new tradition that you and your children are going through." - Katherine Miller The Christmas holiday season can present unique challenges for divorcing parents, who often grapple with the dual pressures of preserving festive traditions and adapting to new family dynamics. Katherine Miller, a seasoned family therapist, sheds light on this emotional conundrum by emphasizing the importance of emotional presence over perfection. With her extensive experience in helping families navigate transitions, Miller encourages parents to prioritize self-care and focus on creating a nurturing environment for their children, rather than exhausting themselves with lavish celebrations. Her approach underscores the value of flexibility and involving children in establishing new traditions, affirming that the true essence of the holidays lies in emotional supp

"I think that this period can be one where folks can make mistakes and really leaning on a team of professionals that can help them through the period is of utmost importance." - Sam Kingston Sam Kingston, a seasoned finance professional, brings over two decades of expertise in financial analysis and portfolio management to the intricate field of financial planning for divorce. With a unique background that spans global firms and family businesses, as well as personal experience being raised by a single mother, Sam is keenly aware of both the emotional and financial challenges inherent in asset separation. He advocates for a comprehensive and empathetic approach, emphasizing the need for a team of professionals—including divorce attorneys, financial advisors, and tax experts—to support individuals through this life transition. By focusing on careful financial planning and open communication, Sam aims to help individuals navigate the complexities of family businesses and shared investments, ensuring fair outc

"When you are grounded in your own emotions, you don't have to be governed by them. That doesn't mean that it's not emotional. It means that you're at choice." - Kate Anthony Kate Anthony is a dedicated specialist focused on guiding women through the intricate process of divorce decision-making. Renowned for her empowering approach, she emphasizes the necessity of prioritizing children's well-being in such situations, urging parents to put aside personal desires and conflicts for the sake of their offspring. Through her comprehensive online programs, Anthony assists women in reconnecting with their personal values and needs, fostering self-discovery and reinvention post-divorce. Her book, "The D Word," co-authored with Katherine Miller, further explores these themes, advocating for emotional processing before tackling legal issues and challenging the notion that divorce is inherently detrimental to children when approached with their best interests at heart. Key Takeaways ->Addressing internal conflict and

"The money is just data. It's numbers and getting at the core of what it means to them, what it represents. It represents their values, their ideals, their hopes, their dreams." - Jon Tanner Jon Tanner, president of Summit Advisors at William Joseph Capital Management, is a seasoned financial planning expert with over 35 years of experience, specializing in the intricate financial aspects of divorce. A native of Hudson Valley, Jon is celebrated for his empathetic, team-based approach, working closely with lawyers, accountants, and other professionals to craft financial settlement plans that promote compromise and clarity. He believes that a successful financial plan in divorce requires looking beyond the headline numbers, emphasizing the importance of understanding the sustainability and nature of assets such as retirement accounts and real estate. Jon is committed to helping his clients not only manage the immediate financial challenges of divorce but also build a solid foundation for the future, acknowledg

"I'm on a mission to change how people divorce and help them divorce with dignity." - Katherine Miller Navigating the holiday season after a divorce can be a tumultuous experience, fraught with the challenges of time-sharing with children and the task of establishing new traditions. Katherine Miller, with her insightful perspective, acknowledges the emotional difficulty of spending holidays without the kids, especially during the first year post-divorce. Drawing from her experiences, she advocates for finding new ways to celebrate, be it through altering existing traditions or experimenting with entirely new approaches. Miller underscores the significance of prioritizing children's well-being and the potential long-term effects of parental actions, urging parents to be mindful of how family dynamics and conflicts during this period can shape lasting holiday memories. Key Takeaways ->Coping strategies when spending holidays without children include making plans with family or serving the needy. ->Maintainin

"It has provided me with a different viewpoint, in terms of understanding that there's a lot more involved to an immigration related case beyond being approved for whatever benefit an individual is seeking." - Douglas Lightman Douglas Lightman is a seasoned professional in immigration law, with a strong foundation in international tax and cross-border transactions, which has significantly shaped his career path. Through his extensive travel and exposure to diverse cultures, Lightman has developed a nuanced understanding of the complexities involved in immigration matters, particularly the intricate connection between international tax and immigration law. He is committed to demystifying these processes and tackling prevalent misconceptions, such as the belief that individuals with a two-year conditional green card cannot obtain a ten-year green card if divorced, by providing clear, accurate information to the public. With recent changes in immigration laws making the process more challenging, Lightman's info

"Yoga is really a way of life. It's a way of living with self compassion for yourself and for the environment and the people around you." - Cathy Eads Cathy Eads is a dedicated yoga teacher and Ayurvedic wellness counselor, renowned for her expertise in using mind-body practices to manage stress and anxiety. Her journey with yoga began as a form of physical exercise, but it soon transformed into a holistic lifestyle that promotes self-compassion and peaceful living. Cathy believes that yoga, meditation, and structured daily routines can restore calm and balance, even amidst health challenges, financial stress, and struggling relationships. By incorporating techniques like controlled breathing and mindfulness, she helps individuals develop resilience and manage emotions, particularly during stressful life events such as divorce, offering them a pathway to feel more grounded and in control. Key Takeaways ->Yoga and meditation promote resilience and control in life during chaotic times ->Controlled breathing

"Well, I want to do something that could help the ordinary person. I never wanted to get into law to work for a big corporation. Helping people is what I care about." - Jeffrey Peltz Jeffrey Peltz, a seasoned Brooklyn-based attorney with nearly four decades of experience, seeks to change the narrative surrounding bankruptcy by emphasizing its role as a strategic financial tool rather than a moral failing. With a compassionate approach that prioritizes clients' needs over corporate interests, Peltz argues that bankruptcy should be seen as a business decision, not a source of shame. He highlights the common misconception that bankruptcy should be avoided at all costs, noting that this belief often leads individuals to make damaging financial choices, such as depleting retirement funds or falling for scams. By offering personalized guidance and treating clients like family, Peltz strives to demystify the bankruptcy process, helping individuals understand that it can offer a fresh start, particularly in the cont

"If you don't know about the money, you don't have control over the money or access to the money." Ed Vargo, the founder of Burning River Advisory Group and Enlighten Her, is a fervent advocate for financial literacy, particularly focusing on empowering women. Inspired by his immigrant mother's struggles with financial independence, Ed has dedicated his career to providing compassionate financial guidance to help women achieve equality through financial strength. He emphasizes the significance of teaching financial literacy from a young age, advocating for parents to model positive financial behaviors for their children and encouraging open discussions about money within families. Vargo also highlights the impact of financial misunderstandings on relationships, especially during divorce, underscoring the importance of assembling a knowledgeable support team and fostering financial education to promote harmony and independence. Key Takeaways: ->Ed Vargo emphasizes teaching children about money management fro

What are some unique challenges that mid-career professionals face during divorce? Jamie M. Lima is a renowned certified divorce financial analyst and certified financial planner who specializes in helping mid-career professionals navigate the financial complexities of divorce. As the founder of Allegiant Divorce Solutions and the creator of the Secure Split app, Lima draws on over 20 years of experience to guide clients through asset division and retirement planning, with a particular focus on managing complex workplace benefits like stock options and pension plans. He believes that financial planning is crucial during divorce proceedings, as it helps individuals avoid common pitfalls and make decisions that align with their long-term financial goals. By working closely with tax professionals and leveraging tools like the Divorce Toolkit, Lima empowers clients to prioritize their future and make informed financial decisions, ensuring a secure post-divorce financial future. Key Takeaways ->Involving financi

"Blended families are always a little bit tricky just because you don't have that standard. Everything to the spouse and then down to the kids. And that's just the end of it." - Laura Cowan Laura Cowan, a distinguished attorney and CPA, brings her expertise in estate planning to the forefront, particularly in navigating the intricate transitions that follow a divorce. Having founded her own law firm after a successful career as a CPA, Laura emphasizes the critical need to reassess beneficiary designations post-divorce, as these can override other estate planning documents. She advises individuals to carefully review and update life insurance and retirement accounts to ensure they align with their current wishes, highlighting the necessity of collaborating with a team of professionals—including estate lawyers and financial advisors—to develop a comprehensive plan. Laura's perspective encourages those experiencing divorce to view it as an opportunity for reinvention, urging them to thoughtfully consider their

"You really want to know what your priorities are and then you want to know what your spouse's priorities are, because they might be different." - Melissa Murphy Pavone Melissa Murphy Pavone is a seasoned certified financial planner and divorce financial analyst, whose 18 years of experience in the field are deeply influenced by her personal experiences as a child of divorce. She founded Mindful Divorce Partners to guide clients through the intricate financial challenges of divorce with clarity and assurance. Melissa stresses the importance of proactive and holistic financial planning, focusing on understanding settlement options, tax implications, and the long-term effects of financial decisions, especially when children are involved. Her approach goes beyond mere numbers, helping clients design balanced and sustainable financial plans that align with their future goals and risk tolerance, while avoiding common pitfalls such as retaining the family home without considering its long-term financial impact.

"Depth psychology is a more spiritual approach, a psychospiritual approach to understanding yourself more deeply." - Deborah Lukovich Dr. Deborah Lukovich is a renowned depth psychologist who offers a unique perspective on navigating the complexities of divorce by delving into the unconscious mind. With a belief that up to 90% of our actions and decisions are influenced by hidden forces, she emphasizes the importance of uncovering these unconscious patterns and behaviors that shape relationships. Through her book "Your Soul is Talking, Are You Listening?" and her engaging podcast and blog, Dr. Lukovich provides valuable insights into the unseen dynamics and hidden agendas that often go unnoticed during the tumultuous process of divorce. By guiding individuals to explore the depths of their psyche, Lukovich aims to foster a deeper understanding of personal and relational dynamics, ultimately aiding clients in transforming their relationship patterns and preventing past experiences from dictating future connec

"It will not get any easier if you're avoiding it. Now, don't think that in six months or a year the solution will be, in fact, it's going to get much harder." - Katya Sverdlov Katya Sverdlov is a distinguished attorney specializing in estate planning and elder law, with a robust background in finance as a chartered financial analyst. Driven by her own unsatisfactory experience with estate planning at a large law firm, she founded her own practice to ensure personalized client care and education. Sverdlov is passionate about empowering families to make informed decisions, emphasizing the critical importance of properly documenting estate planning wishes in writing, as verbal instructions or unsigned documents hold no legal weight. Her approach includes leveraging her financial expertise to help clients navigate complex family dynamics and asset considerations, highlighting strategies like irrevocable trusts for Medicaid planning, ensuring that her clients' wishes are legally binding and protected for the fut

"Kids have large antenna on their heads that you can't see, but they're always scanning for information, and that is information that is picked up very easily." - Lisa Herrick Dr. Lisa Herrick, a renowned family therapist and collaborative divorce coach, has nearly twenty years of experience guiding families in the Washington, D.C. area through the complex transition period of separation and divorce. She emphasizes that this transition varies greatly among individuals, depending on their resilience and specific circumstances, and underscores the importance of allowing adequate time for adjustment, adaptation, and recovery. Dr. Herrick advocates for honest and respectful communication between co-parents, particularly when introducing new partners to children, to minimize confusion and build trust. Drawing from personal experience, she highlights the intricate dynamics involved in shared family activities post-divorce, such as spending holidays together, and the necessity of preparing new partners for their ro