Lasers On The Ride

Episode 7 of season 2 kicks off with talk of Mardi Gras, which Jay learns has nothing to do with Spring Break, and also Kanye West’s breakdown (it’s not a breakthrough c’moooon now).The Lasers talk bro-ing out and whether they’ve ever accidentally partaken, listening to sad music and the great love song of our generation. They discuss masculinity, toxic and otherwise but mostly toxic, and Jay actually learning the guitar vs noodling with the guitar. They explore the limits of Jay’s empathy or empathy period, what’s considered a good parent, and the pitfalls of advice. Mike makes the distinction between facts on women and sexist spins on facts on women, they discuss World War 2, sort of, and close out on ideas of identity and rats.

Episode 6 introduces our first guest of season 2 - writer/podcast host/content creator Chris Masson from WatchMojo. They kick off the episode with a lil bit of the esoteric with Chris sharing stories from growing up with a mom who dabbles p heavily in the zodiac and contrasting that to other relationships in his life. The Lasers introduce a new season 2 game where they make the guest draw a self-portrait during an increasingly personal Q&A and Chris talks an ageing parent, going from art to art-ish, and which sin best applies. They talk personas in art and taking one’s self serious vs one’s art serious and whether REM, Live and Tragically Hip are the same band (Chris argues no, Mike is unfamiliar). They workshop some content ideas (Drakespeare vs Shakespeare comes out looking ok) and talk why men seek out wood in all forms, stylistic devices in writing and chip flavours. To close out, Chris performs a piece from his past just a little begrudgingly as per Jay’s request.

Episode 5 is all about what’s going on in new music, rap and otherwise, and Mike’s disenchantment with the state of art - it’s dead (!)(?)(,)(.) he says, while Jay argues that he is in fact himself art and alive(?). To get the stuff started each Laser brings forth 10 songs that they listen to and appreciate and sometimes shit on. Jay explains the cause for his raspy voice and Mike and Jay tell rabbit stories, each one sadder than the last. Mike brings up Sean Penn’s new book and the Lasers laugh at his horrible writing, ridden with ridiculous alliteration that proves he’s insane. They close out the episode with talk on the legalization of weed, whether it can make you go crazy (lol), and why some people can’t handle the stuff and then freestyle an ad for their instagram (go follow!).

In episode 4 the Lasers enter the Danger Dome if danger was answering timed questions and the dome was a podcast. We find out each Laser’s take on important questions such as white people with dreadlocks, penis colour in porn, saucy vs dry-rub, dinner party etiquette, whether pumpkin pie is for old people, which colour wine is best, whether it’s ok that some rappers wear fake jewelry, sharing your bed with dogs and such and the relevance of the Junos. In and around the game, discussion proceeds at a normal, sometimes feverish, rarely sluggish pace. Jay recalls an awkward encounter between his arms and an older woman before the Lasers discuss comedians of yore-ish and dope film directors. Jay concludes that the History Channel targets racists and the Lasers discuss herstory and how much good stuff the world has missed out on due to misogyny (thanks for nothing misogyny!). Mike shares 70 through 61 on his best rappers of all time list and they examine why Canada is so good at indie rock and syphilis in the prai

The Lasers kick off episode 3 by examining the idiosyncrasies of various police precincts before then eulogizing fallen Montreal music venues and discussing No Doubt’s catalog. Jay and Mike agree that Timbaland would easily discard Swizz Beatz in a beat battle and Jay recalls a panic attack post edible & Flying Lotus performance. Mike shares his ambivalence come dislike for The Migos and explains the similarities between Portuguese and Romanian (it’s the ziou sound). The Lasers fashion police the Migos on SNL, talk dating Sarah the stripper, and finally determine why rap rock keeps missing the mark. They speak Weezer and then Weezer/Weezy mash-up! and then unfortunate sex endings. They cap it off by exploring the ultimate face-offs in rap and who’s Beatles, who’s Stones.

The Lasers kick off episode 2 of season 2 (Robbing Season?) with Oprah talk, where they expound her many achievements, and then the Baltimore accent. Jay shares his dislike for Charlamagne and defends Lakeith Stanfield while Mike shares his dislike for Lakeith Stanfield and defends Charlamagne. Mark Cuban’s gross behaviour and large fingers get aired. Mike and Jay have a serious discussion surrounding privilege, white and otherwise (ok just white), and discuss what it means to really be an ally. They talk male pattern baldness and general hat remedies while Jared Leto does Japan. To close out they explore accents some more and talk Cardi B and the Bronx and National Geographic finally coming to terms with their extra-problematic history.

Ooooo shoot Lasers on the Ride is back for another season!! To kick off episode 1 the Lasers rank various talk show hosts against the Carson Daly benchmark before Jay reveals the dirty secret that he watches unboxing videos on youtube. They discuss their early stabs at rapping and talk why someone might re-use a freestyle verse or Jay Leno might and did re-use material for an entire career. They critique theme songs that Jay made for season 2 that don’t make the grade and argue about how uncomfortable you need to be in a cabin for it to fulfill cabin requirements. They discuss Diddy on Drink Champs where he made Fab (-O-L-O-U-S) and Jadakiss uncomfy and the circumstances under which they would grave rob. They round the episode out wondering whether worms can be mutilated or are in fact already mutilated, whether Russia controls the internet and whether everything is everything and how much of everything there is (infinity???). Join Lasers on the Ride on Patreon! www.Patreon.com/lasersontheride Join Lasers on

Trumpcast is the last segment in the 10 part Multiverse series that the Lasers put together while season 2 is getting underway (aka thirstquencher). Mike, Jay and KC spend the segment discussing Trump’s deplorable behavior, comments, decisions and all-around personhood.

Terry Bradshaw’s MS-DOScast, part 9 of 10 of the Multiverse, opens with football talk. Mike and Jay convey their strong dislike for the game while KC begs to differ and they discuss change through sports and then change in sports. Finally, Mike relays the hateful history of the confederate statues that pepper the American landscape and the determined white women who put them there.

“The Oz Facadecast” is part 8 in Lasers on the Ride’s multiverse series. The Lasers broach Jay’s artwork for the episode and take a rather in depth look at the Wizard of Oz pastiche that he’s created.

“Odd Dogcast”, part 7 in Lasers on the Ride’s multiverse series, kicks off with a ghost-ey story from KC before Mike makes everyone uncomfortable. They discuss modern sex, Jay gives advice, KC does a Kardi impression and Mike says “less oral more aural” but really for the sake of more oral.

“The Cod Squadcast” is part 6 in Lasers on the Ride’s Multiverse series. It starts with the Lasers identifying the different members of the Cod Squad with varying degrees of success before they examine SJP’s marriage with Matthew Broderick. The group finishes things off with a wild take on the inner workings of the squad before examining rather (too) closely whether they’d get with Ariel.

“Ahmad Rashadcast” is part 5 in Lasers on the Ride’s Multiverse series. Mike, Jay and KC discuss Ahmad Rashad’s illustrious NFL career and why selling CDs hand to hand in 2017 is bananas and also the devil at work.

“Nimrod’s Bodcast” is part 4 in Lasers on the Ride’s multiverse series. Jay tries to convince Mike and KC that Nimrod, an ancient mythological figure, isn’t caucasian despite all signs to the contrary such as skin colour. They round things out with an etymological look at ‘swole’.

Part 3 of Lasers on the Ride’s multiverse series is “The Mod Broadcast” where the Lasers discuss all things mod but really just the scooters. They throw on some lmao accents and sort of examine the music from the era.

“Rod, Todd, and Charlamagne tha Godcast” is part 2 of Lasers on the Ride’s multiverse series. The crew examines The Simpsons’ universe if Jay got ahold of it and public masturbation and then performative urination. Don Cherry’s facial hair catches an L.

ayyyyy activity! Fraud Applausecast is part 1 of 10 in a little series we’re referring to as the Multiverse - not season 1 but not yet season 2, it’s just a little snack in the meantime. Jay, Mike and KC break down what exactly constitutes fraud applause, when it best applies, and what it sounds like. As its usefulness is debated, the group coins the term ‘moguana’ and laughs. It’s good to be back yall, it is goooooood to be back. Season 2 on its way!

Episode 50 of Lasers on the Ride, Fully Loaded Clips, closes out Season 1 with a bang/pop/trope. Recorded in front of a live studio audience, the Lasers recap some of their favorite moments from the first 49 episodes and take stock of what worked and what won’t. They play a couple of previously unheard clips from episodes that never were while Jay gets earnest, Akil gets quiet, and Mike gets booed. Finally, they shut stuff down on a high note of personal goals and accomplishments before reluctantly saying goodbye. Thank you to everyone who stuck with us through Season 1 and we look forward to seeing all yall back for next season!

Episode 49, Seasons Change Mad Things Rearrange, kicks off with talk of hootin and hollerin at women before the Lasers answer some questions. Jay steps out for a minute only to be replaced by super canadian Kenny McMaster who joins the Lasers in deciphering rap verses before Mike insults his daughter. They play a frankensteined fudge/marry/kill and Mike kicks Akil out of sremmlife. The gang discusses whether Guwop is a nerd (unlikely), what to expect when you’re expecting (technology advancements) and Tesla’s clairvoyance. They speak modern freestyling and stolen slang before determining who would win in a fight and Akil’s dating style. To close out, they throw some show ideas at the wall and decide which ones stick and give Led Zeppelin the business.

Merry Christmas from Lasers on the Ride!!! The episode kicks off with the introduction of a drinking game and discussions of good and bad presents of yesteryear. The gang discusses the tradition and each Laser’s respective plans for the holiday and then traumatic Christmas experiences from their youth. They broach the rules of secret santa and whether picking your own name and following through with a gift for yourself makes you a sociopath, in which case the Lasers are 2 for 4. They exchange gifts and KC’s mom videochats in and sings Little Drummer Boy for yall before KC drops a Christmas freestyle. They phone some friends to wish them a Merry Christmas and close the stuff out with Eazy-E’s Christmas album.