How To Live In Denmark » Podcasts

One of my favorite types of speaking engagement is introducing Denmark to some of the smart, motivated young people arriving from around the world to study at Danish universities. Since the publication of my first book, How to Live in Denmark, I’ve been speaking regularly to audiences of new arrivals, and I probably learn as much from them as they learn from me. Among the things I’ve learned is that the aspects of Danish culture that the Danes are most proud of can be troublesome for newcomers.

Planning your summer vacation in Denmark is like playing the lottery. You could hit it lucky, with golden days and long, warm evenings, when you can sit with friends in the soft light and drink hyldeblomst cocktails. Or you could get grey day after grey day, interspersed with a little rain whenever it is least convenient. The weather could be chilly, leaving your cute new summer clothes to sit disappointed in your closet while you wear your boring long trousers again and again. I find that locals tend to base their decision about whether to stay in Denmark for the summer on the previous year’s weather. Last year’s summer was great for anyone who is not a farmer: it was unusually hot and dry. This year, so far, the weather has been very good for farmers with crops that need a lot of rain, and not so great for anybody else.

April 1st is April Fool’s Day – Aprilsnar in Danish – and each Danish newspaper will feature a clever but false story for the unwary to be fooled by. To some extent every day is April Fool’s Day in Denmark, because Danish humor is a rough humor. Danes show affection by making fun of each other. And, as an international, they might make fun of you too. This is a good thing: that means they have accepted you into the circle of Danishness. But it doesn’t mean that the intersection of non-Danes and Danish humor is entirely painless. If you come from a culture where you are easily offended – and that, unfortunately, includes the American culture these days – you may spend a lot of time with your feelings hurt. If you come from a culture where honor or face is prized, the Danish insistence on taking nothing seriously and taking everyone down a peg can be shocking.

Motivating Danish employees is very different than motivating other groups of people because there are two big factors missing – hierarchy and fear.  We don’t like to talk about the fear part in our various countries of origin, but the fact is true that in the US, UK, China, India, and in parts of Europe, someone who loses their job can be in a lot of trouble. They may have trouble paying their bills, might lose their house, might not have access to health care, might not be able to send their kids to university. That’s not the case in Denmark. Everybody pays for those services through their taxes, so losing your job doesn’t mean you lose access to these things the way it might mean elsewhere in the world. And that means that employees aren’t slightly afraid of their boss the way they might be elsewhere in the world - and they’re much more willing to speak up. They’re not going to do what you say just because you’re the boss. Hierarchy exists in Denmark, despite what the Danes sometimes want to believe, but y

Denmark is a quiet country, even within the cities. Especially this time of year, February, when it’s too cold to do anything but scurry from place to place, when the street cafés are closed and no one wants to eat their lunch in the park. The Danes are hibernating in their homes until the spring. And especially when a blanket of snow covers the cities and countryside. Then everything around you will be beautifully, peacefully, totally quiet. This Danish quiet can freak out a lot of internationals when they first arrive. The Danes have a lot of respect for quiet. If you ask a Danish friend how things are going in his life, he’s likely to stay “Ah, stille og roligt.” Which Google Translate renders as “Quiet and quiet.” (‘Nice and easy’ is another translation) Quiet is written into the laws in Denmark – car horns are rarely heard, for example, because it’s against the law to use them unless you are in immediate danger. I learned to drive in Manhattan, where you use your horn every 3 or 4 seconds, so this was a

As the new academic semester starts up, some of you may be planning to live in a Danish home. It could be you’ll rent a room in a household, maybe you’ll be part of a Danish host family, or maybe you’ll just be staying with Danish friends. I thought it might be useful to have some tips on living with a Danish family. First of all, if you’re used to having your parents or domestic workers do most of the household chores – things are about to change. Danish families generally don’t have live-in domestic workers. A few wealthy families with small children have au pairs, and it’s common to have a weekly cleaning person, but on a day-to-day basis, household chores are done by all the members of the family. Male, female, young, old, everybody does their part. (In fact, statistics show that Danish men do more household chores than any other men in Europe.) So, if you’re going to live as part of a Danish family, there will probably be household chores for you, too. If you don’t know how to wash dishes, or clean a fl

Being alone for Christmas in Denmark can be tough – one of the downsides of Danish "hygge" is that people who are not inside the "hygge" circle can feel shut out and very alone. Here are our tips for having a good holiday anyway.

Like so many other aspects of life in Denmark, gift giving in the holiday season comes with dozens of unwritten rules and unspoken expectations. Should you give a gift to your boss? What about your colleagues? Will you and your Danish friends exchange gifts? And why does almost every store in Denmark ask if you want a “gift sticker” when you buy something? Here are a few basic tips about gift giving in Denmark.

Autumn in Denmark actually starts in mid-August, when the kids go back to school. Danish kids have a very short holiday – usually only about 6 weeks. By late August, you can definitely feel a little fall crispness in the air. By September the leaves start to turn color, and by the end of October many of the trees are already bare for the winter. But what really defines fall in Denmark is the slow fading of the light.

This is a special episode, because this is the fifth anniversary of the How to Live in Denmark podcast.The podcast began in the summer of 2013; at the time I’m recording this, it is near the end of Summer 2018. We’ve had more than 80 episodes and around a million streams and downloads. Most importantly, I’ve received a lot of messages from people like you saying that the podcast and the books that have come out of the podcast have been really helpful for you in adjusting to Denmark. I’m so happy to hear that. I originally came to Denmark on vacation. I was living in Manhattan in the time, right downtown in Greenwich Village, but I’d been living there for about 10 years and was really ready to try something new. I visited all the hip cities in the US – Atlanta, Salt Lake City, Seattle, Chicago, Austin Texas, but I just didn’t find a place where I really felt I fit in. At the same time, I had a friend living in Paris. We’d meet up and check out different parts of Europe, and one September we thought, OK, why no

There’s no reason to spend a lot on what you wear to work in Denmark. Danes, by nature, are not flashy dressers. In most Danish business environments, you’ll be perfectly well dressed in a fitted pair of business trousers, dark shoes, and a solid-color sweater or dress shirt. Male or female, you’ll never go wrong with quiet colors like burgundy, dark blue, dark green, black or - for the adventurous - beige.  Subtle good taste is the preferred style. Obvious designer labels are considered tacky, but quality cut and fabric are appreciated.

On your first day at work in Denmark, you may find a pretty bouquet of flowers on your desk to welcome you. (This terrified a Chinese acquaintance of mine, who was accustomed to receiving flowers on her *last* day at work. She thought she’d been fired before she ever sat down.) In Denmark, the bouquet is just a way to say “welcome” and to add some sunshine to an arduous day that is sure to include many handshakes and computer passwords. Someone will probably be appointed as your “mentor” on the first day of the job, and that person will take you around to meet the people you’ll be working with, as well as showing you practical parts of the office like the printer room and the toilets. Shake hands with everyone you meet and try to remember their first names – although you’ll probably get a lot of duplicates. (Depending on the size of the company, you can expect to meet at least two or three people named Mette, Søren, Pia, Magnus, or Lars.) Last names aren’t important, at least until you have to find these peo

Many Danes meet their future spouses at work. Yet there are also strict laws in Denmark against sexual harassment. Where do you draw a line between harassment and two adults developing tender feelings for each other? -------------- Given the Danes’ fondness for alcohol, many inter-office romances start at the annual Christmas party. Ms. X and Mr. Y drink a bottle of wine or two, wiggle suggestively together on the dance floor, and depart to one or the other’s home in a taxi to complete the evening. The next morning, they discuss whether they are interested in a future romantic relationship. If that doesn’t sound like your style, or if Christmas is too far away, there are other ways to handle the matter.

In an anti-authoritarian country like Denmark, being a boss is a precarious (social) position. Danish bosses don’t like to flaunt their authority. In fact, when you enter a room of Danes, it is often difficult to tell which one is the boss. The social cues that point to a big cheese in other cultures – the flashy watch, the oversize office, the glamorous yet servile executive assistant – are considered poor taste in egalitarian Denmark. So are the booming, take-charge personalities many foreigners may expect from a boss. Denmark is a flat country. It is flat geographically, you are expected to keep a flat temperament and vocal tone, and (as they love to tell you) Danish companies have a relatively flat management structure. This means fewer layers of people to keep an eye on you, which can be a refreshing thing, but also fewer people around to help if you’re going off the rails entirely.

People visiting Denmark can’t help but notice that the Danish flag is everywhere. Christmas trees here are decorated with little Danish flags. Cucumbers in the supermarket have Danish flags on them to show they’re grown in Denmark. Whenever a member of the Danish royal family has a birthday, two little Danish flags are stuck on the front of every Copenhagen bus. The Danish flag is closely associated with Danish birthdays. If you have a birthday when you’re working in a Danish office, one of your colleagues is likely to put a Danish flag on your desk. It means – happy birthday!  You may see a birthday cake with tiny Danish flags stuck into it, or the Danish flag recreated in red frosting. The Danish flag is not really a statement of nationalism. It’s a statement of joy.  So it was a bit of a shock a couple of weeks ago when the FDF, a kind of a Danish boy scouts or girl scouts organization, said they wanted to remove the Danish flag from their logo. 

On-the-job benefits in Denmark come in three categories: the kind every Danish worker gets, the kind everyone at your company gets, and the kind everyone at a certain level in your company gets.  When you talk with a future employer, you can negotiate your salary, but there’s not all that much room for negotiation on benefits. In most cases, as American kindergarteners say, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.” Fortunately, the benefits tend to be generous. This is a chapter from my upcoming book, "How to Work in Denmark."

If you live in Denmark or follow the Danish media, you’ll know there’s been a lot of talk of gangsters over the past week. One Danish gang is trying to expand at the expense of another gang, and this summer there have been about 25 shootings in Copenhagen, generally in the northern neighborhoods – my neighbourhood. Somebody was shot outside my supermarket, somebody else was shot outside the school near my house, and a couple of people have been shot just walking down the street. Most of the victims are other gangsters, but a few have been unlucky civilians in the wrong place at the wrong time. All have been young men, and the Copenhagen police went so far as to suggest that young men stop wearing knit hats. Knit hats can be a gang sign. I should point out that this summer in Denmark has been so cold that wearing a knit hat in August can actually seem like a good idea.

A generation ago, expat spouses in Denmark were mostly “cookie pushers” – stay-at-home-wives who supported their husbands’ careers with chic little cocktail parties for his business associates. They ran the house and the family while he ran the world. Spouses today are different. Most come to Denmark after finishing their advanced educations, and they are sometimes mid-career. A good portion are men. A lot of contemporary spouses don’t want to stay at home, and even if they did, that’s rarely affordable in Denmark. The Danish tax structure makes single-earner households a rarity. Even if the person working has a generous salary, a big chunk of that income will go to taxes. And prices are high in Denmark for rent, food, and other daily necessities. Besides, stay-at-home spouses don’t really have a role in Danish society, as they do in many other cultures. There’s no need to stay home and care for small children: Danish kids start full-time day care when they are about a year old. (Not sending your child to day

  One of the most important words in the Danish language is "ligestilling"  – equality. The belief that all (Danish) people are basically equal permeates every relationship and every interaction. Fancy job titles do not fit into that passion for equality. They suggest you think you’re better than someone else. Which you might actually be, if you’ve worked your way to the top of your field, but that admission is slightly embarrassing. If you do have an impressive job title, it's considered bad taste to show it off. Office doors in Denmark, for example, usually have just the name of the person inside, not their title. When you introduce yourself, whether to one person or an audience of 500, you give just your name, preferably just your first name. And it's considered laughable to strut about in a way that shows everyone you're the boss. In fact, when you enter a room of Danish businesspeople, it is almost impossible to tell who the boss is. Everyone’s dressed the same, everyone acts pretty much the same, and n

When you first arrive in Denmark to work or look for work, the last thing you need is another monthly expense. So many foreigners “save money” by not joining a union. And I was one of them. To be honest, joining a union never even occurred to me. In the US, unions are either for hands-on workers – steelworkers, hotel maids – or for civil servants, like schoolteachers and cops. Knowledge workers and creative types are almost never unionized. But that’s not true in Denmark, where engineers, doctors, lawyers, bankers, managers, and writers regularly join unions. Unions can arguably be even more important for foreign employees than they are for Danes.