How To Live In Denmark » Podcasts

Danish names are very strongly stratified by age. Ole and Finn and Knud and Kaj and Jørn and Jørgen and to some extent Poul and Per, are over 50. Their wives and sisters and secret lovers are Inger and Karin and Kirsten and Ulla. Or Bente. Another guaranteed old ladies’ name is Bente. Bent is the male version.  Being named Bent is a problem for Danes who travel, because in many English-speaking countries, ‘bent’ is old-fashioned slang for ‘gay.’ In those countries, if you hold out your hand and say, ‘Hi, I’m Bent,’ you may get an unexpected reaction.

Finding a job anywhere is a headache, and Denmark is no different.  And let's be frank, if the employer has a choice between a foreigner and a Dane, they're probably going to hire the Danish person.  The Danish person knows the language, the Danish person knows the culture, the Danish person knows what type of cheese to bring for the Friday morning shared breakfast.  Nevertheless, it is possible for a foreigner to find work in Denmark. Here are my tips for a successful job search in Denmark. 

If you are a romance novelist, the Danish man is not your dream man. He will not write poetry and pursue his beloved to the ends of the Earth. He won't send flowers, he won't buy chocolates. He won't even help carry packages.  That said, if you’re a feminist, a Danish man IS your dream man. He will cook and help with the housework, and spend time with the kids.  He'll respect your opinion, and he won't force himself on you. In fact, you may have to force yourself on him.  But if you do, he’ll usually be really grateful.

 A lot of the mail I get at howtoliveindenmark.com get is from men, wanting to know how they can meet women in Denmark. I can understand this.  Danish women are very beautiful.  And I can tell you now, most of them will not immediately exclude you because you have a different skin color.  I know of several babies of mixed heritage here in Denmark.  That said, dating in Denmark is hard, even for the Danes, and it will probably be hard for you too.    That’s because the process that works in much of the rest of the Western world doesn’t work in Denmark.  In most parts of the world, a man will see a woman he likes, and he’ll approach her.  He’ll try to start a conversation.  Maybe he’ll ask if he can buy her a coffee, or some other type of drink.  If they’re in a nightclub, he might ask her if she’d like to dance, or maybe go outside and get some fresh air. These tactics will get you nowhere in Denmark.  

I’m looking out the window as I record, and it’s snowing again. It’s pretty, but it’s not a novelty any more. It’s been like this for the past couple of weeks, Danish winter weather. Nearly every day there’s fresh snow and ice. When I wake up on winter mornings, it’s still dark, and cold, and I can hear the wind whistling outside my window.  Every day I think, ahhhh, I don’t want to get up.  But I do. Of course everyone in Denmark suffers a little bit during the winter.  But I feel particularly bad for people I can see come from warmer climates, and are experiencing one of their first winters here. 

I play a little game sometime when I look at Danish people. I imagine them as Vikings. It’s easy now that big beards are in fashion on young men. Sometimes on the metro I’ll look up at the hipster guy playing with his iPhone next to me and imagine him wearing a big fur cloak. Maybe a rope belt, with a sword dangling from it. I imagine him stepping off the boat in Newfoundland in the year 1000, freaking out the local American Indians.

A few years ago, during the peak July vacation season, SAS had to cancel a large number of flights out of Denmark. This is because too many SAS pilots had taken vacation...during the vacation season. In Denmark, the needs of the employee are often more important than the needs of the customer.The post Danes and Work: My vacation flight was cancelled, because the pilot was on vacation appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

While French or American politicians have sex scandals, Danish politicians have tax scandals. Only the Royal Family is permitted to be the subject of really juicy gossip and scandal in Denmark. The post Gossip and Scandal in Denmark - Podcast #22 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

Even though Denmark is very open about sex, it isn’t very…sexy. Everything’s so accepted, out in the open, so practical, that sex in Denmark is a bit dull. The post Sex and Denmark - Podcast #21 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

Sitting at my desk in grey, November Copenhagen, I received an email from sunny Portugal. Eighteen-year-old Bárbara asks: Should I move to Denmark?

Wearing an elf hat at Christmas time is a way to show you’ve got a sense of humor about yourself. You’re likely to see an elf hat on your boss, your professor or somebody else you’re supposed to respect. The post Christmas in Denmark Part 2: Get Yourself an Elf Hat - Podcast #19 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

I still get confused about Danish place names. A lot of names sound so similar that I am constantly getting lost in Denmark. People's names are tricky, too. The post Ørestad, Ørested and Øresund: Why I still get lost in Denmark - Podcast #18 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

I like Danish politics, and I follow it, even though I don’t follow Danish sports or entertainment. I like Danish politics because it involves a lot of intelligent women running things, with men standing in the background to help out. The post Voting at McDonald's: Danish politics, and the posters that will last until spring - Podcast #17 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

Traditionally, there has been little crime in Denmark, which is a society based on trust. But when that trust is broken, Danes get confused about what to do. They don't like the idea of punishment.

Traditionally, there has been little crime in Denmark, which is a society based on trust. But when that trust is broken, Danes get confused about what to do. They don't like the idea of punishment. The post Just buy more insurance: Crime and Punishment in Denmark - Podcast #15 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

More than a decade after moving to Denmark, there are still a few things I won't do to fit in. I won't cook fried fish balls, or watch Danish talent shows on TV. And I won't plan my hangovers in advance.  

The dark days of winter in Denmark last from October to March. The sky is dark when you get up in the morning, and it’s dark when you leave work. If you are moving to Denmark and want your friends and relatives to visit you, don’t invite them to come during the dark times. They’ll get a bad impression of the place. The post Danish Design: From spaceship toilets to thieves that steal chairs appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

The dark days of winter in Denmark last from October to March. The sky is dark when you get up in the morning, and it’s dark when you leave work. If you are moving to Denmark and want your friends and relatives to visit you, don’t invite them to come during the dark times. They’ll get a bad impression of the place. The post Here come the dark times: Winter in Denmark - Podcast #12 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

If you want to live in a thatched cottage in rural Denmark, you'll find a lot to choose from. Finding an apartment in downtown Copenhagen is harder. The post A thatched roof over your head: How to find a place to live in Denmark - Podcast #11 appeared first on How to Live in Denmark.

Danes dress to match the Danish landscape. This is why most Danish fashion comes in grey, green, blue and brown - plus beige for the adventurous.