The Tom Barnard Show

Is your quiver full? If you don't know what that means, probably not. But if you do, you may also know the story of Mormonism, so much of this episode will be old news to you. What you may not know is that strychnine can put some pep in your step. It's much more likely to put some death in your step, so exercise caution.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a lot of money, you may be tempted to do some weird things, because apparently money makes you insane. For example, picking up hitchhikers. Don't do it. You've got money; call them an Uber.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Long ago, grace and civility were things you taught children in a fancy academy. Strangely, that practice seems to have been a vital part of our society, as civility levels are critically low.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Now that we've generated our requisite negativity, we can finally celebrate the Vikings. And celebrate we do. Even Costaki.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Vikings are getting closer to That One Game every day, with another surprise victory yesterday. We're happy about that for about ten minutes. Then it's back to lamentations.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and these clips are a dish best served Best Of. Skol Vikings!Clips Featuring: Nick Swardson, and Costaki EconomopoulosSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Whether or not you're willing to read online comments seems to be generational. On an individual level, it always trends negatively. Speaking of trending negatively, have you noticed that the better America does, the more people complain about it?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He's not a Scientologist, his head isn't gigantic, and he isn't a former action hero, but aside from that Costaki has a lot in common with John Travolta. For example, they both aren't allowed to say the real name of the "Big Game".See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

God keeps trying to stop people from living in California, but nobody's getting the hint. They also don't seem to understand that alcohol makes you throw up for a reason.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who was the worst dictator of the modern era, Coke or Pepsi? I may have gotten my wars confused.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It may be closer to Christmas than anything else, but that doesn't mean we can't dedicate an hour to supernatural-related deaths. Plus one mundane one.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Liza has some strong opinions. Some of them are negative, but then there's Jimmy John's. Everyone loves JJ's.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Costaki is well known by our listeners for his football-related comedy. That's why instead of talking football, we talk celebrities and how scummy they are. Also hauling onions, because onions are delicious.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These politicians, I tell you. Anyway, Nate is a magician, and Tom doesn't want to know how. That makes him Nate's favorite kind of audience. For a more practical kind of magic, depending on where you live you can travel a short distance and the cigarette tax will magically vanish.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was not long ago that a four year degree and a career in Hollywood were the ultimate dream. Now, maybe it's time to learn how to build an engine and stay away from the red carpet.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dying during childbirth tends to be the last thing you do, but not always. Even so, it's a good idea to avoid it if possible. It helps if you see it coming.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a child, the wrong kind of seatbelt can be deadly. If you're the chairman of the FCC, doing your job can be deadly. But at least in the latter case you make a good salary first.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kanye is mentally ill. I realize this sounds like common sense, but this time it's literal, at least according to Kristyn. And TMZ. Maybe he can inspire research scientists to find a cure with his bardic talents.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the future, and it's only getting more futuristic every day. By "it" I mean the world, not necessarily the people who live there. Plus it's easier than ever to live here with today's citizenship tests. For some people.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Big business continues to take over the commercial realm, possibly because small retailers can't get a supplier that does its job. But despite their shaky branding, the Vikings continue to possibly play in the Super Bowl maybe.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices