The Tom Barnard Show

Jay's here from the distant land of KQ. Star Wars is also here, and it's already made all the money in the world. Unlike the rest of the world, we're much more excited about Darkest Hour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pop a star on top of this episode as it is completely decked with Best Of. Clips Featuring: Kevin Farley, Preacher Lawrence, and Greg GagneSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before the Farley clan was famous around the world, they were famous at Catholic school for many of the same reasons as they are now. Still, they were no Chuck Berry or Harry Caray. That's a good thing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are many elective surgeries out there. They can cure your blindness with lasers, your snoring with a tracheotomy, even your poverty by cutting the cord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Preacher helps us discover that everyone on earth has a name that starts with the same letter as their siblings. He's not a real preacher so it's not divine intervention.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The younger among us know Robert as Dr. Evil's Number Two, while the rest are more familiar with his other 8000 movies. Zara, not having yet hit the 60 year mark in her career, is still working her way up to 8000.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Room is one of the worst movies ever made, while many believe the Star Wars franchise contains some of the best. We're equally fond of both. And Lara butter, apparently.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Tracy Fortson a murderer? You probably don't know, but M, also known as Matthew, probably does. He even wrote a book about it. Earlier they solved a much easier crime when someone branded his initials on some patients' livers. No book was written about that one.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nik is in, which means we'll be talking about how Minneapolis is going downhill. Award shows are also going downhill, mostly because they're transparent and shallow.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John isn't a true gentleman, even though he wrote True Gentleman. You see, only SAE members take the eponymous pledge. And what luck, we happen to have someone who was in SAE right here in studio.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Identity theft might not suck as much as being born with your heart on the outside, but it's still pretty high up there. Abby's all about preventing that sort of thing, and since tis the season for having your identity stolen, it's probably a good idea to hear her out.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The midwest is a lot like Minesweeper. Hit the wrong (or perhaps right) space and your accent goes all over the place. Chicago is one of those spaces. But enough about that, let's talk about The Godfather for the first time ever.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're upset that your heroes don't respond to your messages, don't take it personally. We probably don't even know they exist. It may be a side effect of being Supernormal, which in Tom's case means having a crazy dad. Note: that description may not reflect Meg's opinion.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tom hates cop. Not cops, just the one cop. It's probably not a good idea to taunt the cop who gave you a ticket, but he's doing it anyway. It's also probably not a good idea to bring back Ewoks. I mean Not Ewoks.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Step into the Amethyst Realm with the Tom Barnard Show. Oh wait, it's not a place, it's someone's name. Someone crazy. Instead let's talk about Christmas some more. $500,000 Salvation Army donations are nice. The war on Christmas is less nice, though it depends largely on which side you're on, assuming you take a side at all.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to be a multimillionaire, have a kid six years ago and put him on Youtube. It's difficult, but it's guaranteed to work. If you want to lose a million dollars, get very angry while you're recording an ad. Angry and/or drunk.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Skip the cookies and leave Santa a plate of The Best of. Clips Featuring: Mo Alexander, Doug Sprinthall, and Jonathan ScottSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone's talking about the new tax plan. Not everyone sees it as a good thing. That may be an understatement. One person we know for sure doesn't like it is Mike. Meanwhile Roy Moore wants to go back in time to the early 19th century.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You'd think that being very tall and very muscular would prevent being sexually assaulted, but according to Terry Crews that is not the case. We didn't ask Henry or Charlie about their victim status, instead opting for the latest media projects they're involved in. It's probably a good thing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever fallen asleep while driving, or been close to it? Statistically it's fairly likely. As you might imagine, falling asleep at the wheel is bad for your health, so instead buy a can of Alert Drops, which essentially use lemon juice to give you an adrenaline rush. It's science!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices