Unspoiled! The Constant: Lost

It's all about Ben Linus in this week's episode, and Krista's thoughts on what we learned about him may surprise you. We get into whether or not he has a soul after Richard took him to the Temple, what his actions with Danielle Rousseau say about him, and we have questions and theories about Ethan, and what Juliet knew. Just a heads up: we will be taking a short hiatus while Krista attends a wedding and celebrates her birthday, and Jaime goes to DragonCon!

In this episode, Kate does everything right! From following through on her promise to help Clementine, to telling Carole about who Aaron really is, to actually going back to the Island to find Claire, to giving blood because she's a universal donor. But then she also goes to great lengths to save young Ben's life, which may be the reason Ben is the way he is.

It's not really an apples to apples comparison to say that Oldham is like Sayid, because let's face it: Oldham's way of getting the truth out of someone is much less blood-soaked and screamy. But it *is* effective, though it's unlikely these Dharma Idiots believe that Sayid is from the future, especially after they vote to kill him. But have no fear! It will take more than a bunch of science-y hippies to bring our man down.

In 2007, we see what a great fucking pilot Frank Lapidus really is, and Sun not only knocks Ben out with a boat paddle, but she meets Christian Shephard. How in the world is she going to get to Jin though?In 1977, things are a little less simple. LaFleur has to sneak the Ajira Three into the Dharma recruits, get their names on the list, assign them to jobs - how's that aptitude test, Jack? - and make sure that they keep their damn mouths shut. Everything is fine, until a Hostile...err...a Sayid shows up. But he knows how to keep quiet, so he might not fuck everything up for our happy hippies.

JAMES LAFLEUR! The leader we've been waiting for has been under our noses the entire time! All we needed was for Jack and Kate to leave, Locke to make a sacrifice, some time travel, and Juliet to have his back. Mostly the Jack leaving thing though. We see how Jim's quick thinking and con-man experience helps the now-stuck-in-the-'70's time travelers not only not get kicked off the Island before Locke can return, but somehow facilitates their entry into the Dharma Initiative. Now, three years later, they are all settled and happy. So of course Jack and Kate (and Hurley) show up to mess it all up.

So now we know: John Locke did not commit suicide. No, that little bastard Ben Linus killed him. And now that Locke is revived on the Island, he's not hiding that fact from anyone. In fact, Locke is much more open and honest now that he's a...zombie?...a ghost?...just brought back to life by a magic island? Ben is not going to be happy when he wakes up, but then, we don't really give a shit about his happiness. Suffer, you little creep.

In what is the first ever linear storytelling episode of this show, we learn how the Oceanic Five get back to The Island, possibly along with Ben, Lapidus, and a bunch of new Red Shirts. We're not sure about anyone but Jack, Kate, and Hurley though, as they're the only ones we see actually on The Island again. Oh, and they are found by Jin, who is wearing a Dharma jumpsuit and driving a Dharma van. What the hell is going on? WHEN ARE WE?

In which we say goodbye to Charlotte, even as she leaves us with more questions. How did she see Daniel as a child? Was Locke able to stop the flashes through time? And if so, where will our castaways land? Is Krista right that they'll either be spread out over time, or part of the Dharma Initiative? And what does all of this mean for the Oceanic Six and Ben's plan to get them all back to the Island?

Time travel is a bitch, and *not* like jet lag. Three of our intrepid travelers have nose bleeds, Sawyer gets a glimpse of long-gone Kate, Locke gets a reminder of his past pain, and HOLY SHIT JIN IS ALIIIIVE!

Desmond goes on his quest to find Faraday's mother, which doesn't turn out to be as easy as he expected. What he does find leads him to Charles Widmore. Speaking of, it turns out that jackass Jones from last week's episode is actually young Mr. Widmore himself. Guess we know why he wants to find the Island so badly. Also, there's a hydrogen bomb, but Daniel isn't too worried about it since the Island still exists fallout free in fifty years.

Hurley is having a hard time. The lie that Jack convinces them all to tell is tearing him apart. He doesn't think they should have left The Island, but when he's given the chance to go back, he throws a Hot Pocket at it. Kind of. Meanwhile, on The Island, shit is going down. There are flaming arrows and new people who are more than willing to cut off hands even before getting answers to their questions. We don't like them. Don't forget to check out our TeePublic store! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-constant-podcast?ref_id=6581

Oh boy, you guys, it's all happening now! Time travel! Space-time continuum shit! Daniel being a boss! Sayid pulling a Bourne Identity level murder! No more nervous breakdown beard on Jack! Kate being a great mom! Shirtless Sawyer! It's all breaking Krista's brain and she wants to know what the hell is happening! It's great. Also: we have a merch store now! We're still working on designs, but if any of you have any suggestions of something you'd like to see, or funny things we've said that you think would be amusing on a sticker or a shirt, let us know! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-constant-podcast?ref_id=6581

We decided to do these episodes all as one, since the first part was mostly set up for the other two, and really it's all just one big story. A lot happens, obviously, with people dying, the Oceanic Six's rescue, the fact that it's Locke in that coffin, and oh, you know, the Island MOVED. Not quite in the way that Krista imagined, but still. Where did it go? What does this mean for the people who were still on it? What happened to them that is "all Jack's fault"? We'll get those answers eventually, but for now, listen to us talk about everything that leads up to it.

Locke's special. Ben's bitter. Keamy is a monster. Horace has been dead for 12 years. The cabin is weird. But what we really want to know is: is Claire DEAD?

It's all about Jack this week. On the Island, he's having emergency surgery on the beach, which he attempts to stay awake for and in control of. Luckily, Juliet is the most rational person after Sayid, and she's having none of Jack's nonsense. In the flash-forward, we see that Jack and Kate are together and raising Aaron. But things aren't as happy as Jack wants to believe, especially after he gets a visit from his dead dad, and Kate fulfills a promise she made to Sawyer but won't tell Jack what it was. It looks like this is the beginning of the end not only for Jack and Kate, but for Jack's clean-shaven face because we know that beard is coming.

This one is a lot. We lose Alex and Nadia in the same episode, which has to be one of Krista's worst fears for the show. We see Ben do the unthinkable - summon the Smoke Monster - and the fracture of Locke's group when Claire's house is blown up, and Sawyer finally decides he's had enough of this shit. On the beach, Jack has a tummy ache, but he's more concerned with the fact that the doctor from the freighter has washed up on the beach with his throat slashed. And then Daniel lies, and is forced to tell the truth about saving the castaways. But instead of being sad, Krista takes some time to draw an AWESOME picture of what she thinks the time anomaly is with the Island. I've shared it in the Patrons-Only group for patrons, so if you want to see it, visit patreon.com/unspoiled and become a patron!

Michael's back! He confessed to Walt what he did to get them off the Island, which ruined his relationship with the kid, so now he just wants to die. But the Island isn't finished with him yet. Enter Ben Linus and his convoluted plans. Michael is the spy on Widmore's freighter, and after telling Sayid his tale, he is marched directly to the captain. On the Island, Ben sends Alex to something called The Temple, with Karl and Danielle. While they're on their way, though, Karl and Danielle are shot. Is this part of another one of Ben's plans? Or is Alex in trouble?

The show pulls a trick on us by making us think that Jin and Sun's flashforwards are part of the same thing, but no: Jin's is actually a flashback, and he didn't get off the Island. What does that mean? Is Jin dead?We also learn that the crew on the freighter are experiencing "cabin fever" and committing suicide. And Ben's spy is MICHAEL.

Juliet is the other woman in so many ways: the other woman in her relationship with Goodwin; in her flirtations with Jack; an Other woman;...and then there's what Ben thinks she is. We learn more about how Ben thinks she belongs to him, like a piece of property. It's gross, and he's the worst. Meanwhile, Locke learns more about the freighter, and whose it is. Was Krista's guess right? And what will Locke do with this information?

Here it is: the episode many of you have been waiting for. It was certainly the one that Krista was waiting for, since she finally got to learn why our show is named what it is. And the episode did not disappoint. We have strange consciousness time travel, a love story, and super weirdness with Desmond. We have new characters on the freighter in Minkowski (RIP), Keamy, and Omar. We have Daniel Faraday, past and present. And we're left with a couple new questions: who opened the door of the med-bay for our Losties? Was it the spy? Who IS the spy? What is going on on that freighter? What is going on with Daniel? Is Juliet the best ever? Stay tuned and maybe we'll find out!