Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

The battle continues! What's the worst song we've ever heard? YOU GET TO DECIDE. Could it be about Ames, Iowa? Maybe. West Saint Paul? Possibly. Chinese Food? Hey, what's happening here? Luckily for you, it's all terrible.  Horses are NOT WELCOME in the Mommy Dome. Get your glue machine out of our faces. Smelly, demon dwellers.  Vietnamese seems like a difficult language. Now try it with a gun to your head. We make it easy!!! Plus we have to navigate how to say a very, um, difficult name to pronounce.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you bark like a dog, you should BARK LIKE A REAL ENRAGED DOG. Thankfully, we have the man to show you how it's done. Ain't no woof woof over here, kid. Your Jeans have spoken and confirmed what HALF of US already knew - Tommy is pretty close to being the MAIN MOMMY via the Biggie vs Bowie vs Beatles debate.  But then again Tina hasn't stopped making brown for the last few days, so does the MAIN MOMMY CROWN belong on her??? We have more awful songs and examine a Tyler Perry, uh, movie - is that what they're called? It also has a song that could run alongside Summertime and Social. It's BAD meaning BAD.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

DON'T RECORD ME, SON! Stay up, Staten Island. And yo, I heard your girl been giving that stuff out to all dem guys, yo! Who would you rather have playing at your birthday party a leather boy or a B Boy? You're picking sides here, dawg. Tina is eating a lot of veggies and her toots are sending a clear message. Will she respond appropriately???  If you report the news, report it! Say the thing that the guy said. We're adults. We can handle it, jeans.  There are songs galore here and an ALL NEW FILL HER UP that will have you seriously deliberating who to seal shut! Aren't you glad that SUMMERTIME IS HERE. It's the best, right?   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jason Nash Is Married. This is not only a factual statement, but also the name of a new movie written by, directed by and starring our very special guest, Jason Nash. Tina Jeans became good buds with Nash over the last month as they both filmed the top secret show that you now know about. We love Jason for a lot of reasons, but his honesty about marraige and parenthood might top it all. If his movie is anything like this conversation we cannot wait to see it!  Plus don't look at, approach, pet, whistle towards or think of another persons dog and a HUGE Dental Update from Tina's bestie, amazing audio and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somewhere on some street that goes by the name Marquette, the dumbest person alive is walking around recording himself on his phone so that we may document stupidity in all its glory.  This episode is packed, but here's what you need to know: Top Dog AND OMG Maria BOTH have calls. Enjoy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes when someone screams to F**K someone Right in their P***y they are not who they seem! REJOICE, Tina is back in the Mommy Dome and her jeans are tighter than ever. Will she reveal secrets of her shoot? I don't know. Maybe.  When a LADY gets a massage do Pro men go for the gold and give her that happy ending? Let's discuss. Chuck Woolery is doing A LOT of commercials. A LOT. And they're all for old people that are falling apart. What do they each pay? 11 dollars. Tommy and Tina discuss how many more marriages they'll go thru. More than 3? That seems like too many. Maybe we should just sign a good ol' C*m dog up to hang out around the house. Sean Connery approves!  If you never saw the House of Cosby's do yourself a favor and watch them, Rudy. They are AMAZING, Theo. Eat the pudding slice! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

YOOOOOOOOOOOshi! Oh my goodness. He's back - the most downloaded man in YMH history was the step mom in Seattle when Tina couldn't make it. Sadly, the audio isn't great. BLUEBAN'S fault. But it's still worth a listen - why? Well, it's Yoshi. There's no description that does it justice. He covers all his hits: AIDS, assault, murder, kidnapping, racism and more! You ain't ready. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's keep getting social! What if SWV covered that song? Or what if all their songs were about Jeans? It's all possible with your MOMS. If you have your stomach stapled or some of it is just taken away be careful when you pass wind because everything might just fall out of you. Tina gives you her secret formula to hotel coffee that is POWERFUL. It's White Lightning that leads to Brown Thunder. The four major food groups are steak, shrimp, chicken and ribs. We help you understand how much of each is important for your diet. Magic Johnson has those AIDS in case you didn't know. Also, Al Sharpton versus words is fantastic. Wear those jeans, gurl.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Live from Denver with Chuck Roy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Derivatives are, you know what I'm sayin, like important when you, know what I'm sayin, doin calculus. Word. Dudes should not masturbate on the bus with other people around when those people have camera phones cause you get recorded and then you get arrested (plus it's rude). The exception would be if you had a nice cheese with you and then you can get romantic. You know what's better than a girl fight? Shovel fight! Yeahhhhh! Plus Bad Acting and more. Bang! Bang! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh the mommies are worldwide, yo! Even though Tina Jeans couldn't make it to Canada (Manada) Tommy Bunz still went up there and did what a single mom has to do. He found a man to help him out. The great Toby Hargrave sat in as a step mom and he was amazing! Toby and Tommy break down a crazy park landscaper, religious upbringings, parenting, heckling, Fill Her Ups, Would You Rathers and so much more. This ep really is the Moose's (Because Canada) T**s! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Come on, guys! Say it with me! Working for my company is fun!!! Lets sell market stuff and sell it and also ship it, yeahhhh! Jobs should be exciting and so should telling the world about it. Lets get social - Social. We feel for you if your coporation or boss is one of these wind bags who tries to dress up work like it's fun. Or worse, when they think you're stupid enough to buy into making profit for THEM as something YOU love to do. Some of this coporate talk made our jeans hang very loose. Just remember that your job doesn't define you, little mommy. Pastor Manning is back with way more CRAZINESS. Just a heads up - he's not a fan of our Prez. Praise the Lord, Ya'll! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stimulate our minds, Jeans! The Ice House is always bumpin when 2 Mommies wearing denim decide to sit down for some greezy time. A great crowd filled the room while many more watched it streaming online. This live show has amazing audio, mommy confessions, intimate talk, Fill Her Up and so much more! We just opened a new denim processing factory because of this episode!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Well a very heavy bertation tonight. We had a very derison bite. Lets go ahead terrison to the bit in the hit a bit. Make sense? Good. Ladies, watch out, it could happen to you (fingers crossed!). Theo has been going on SOLO adventures. We finally catch up to what he's been doing - he was not very forthcoming, for the record. Plus a touching Easter story from Tina and she REkindles the flame that is her passion for UB40. Can Tom decode what some black guy is saying? Did The Ultimate Warrior know where the Dudes were at?? We may be able to confirm that. Keep It Greezy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wait, White what? Ohhhhh. This gets pretty advanced pretty quickly. Some people can't sing, some people aren't retarded. But some people are an interesting mix up of both. We break it down for you. You might be surprised when we listen to the greatest song of our generation and strip it down to it's suspiciously "special" voice. Are all children actually retard(ed) sounding? A "Bad Girl" asks if you know what she's saying, but she has a special twist! Plus a hockey player throws hit hat in the ring as he drops a mountain of "You Know's" in an interview. Wear HEADPHONES for this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get out of that Country A** nonsense, pull up your denim and get ready for the get down. We got a hot new anthem for REAL MOMMIES ONLY. Plus, Tommy ran into Joey "Try Eating This and Living" Diaz on a flight and, yeah, meltdown came soon after. Real husbands say, "Show me how those big T**s fart" to their wives and maybe now, you will too? Pastor Manning is completely insane and we have the audio to prove it. REAL TALK is back and we are ready to ROAST the Duggars wildly selfish lifestyle. This episode is offensive.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know you're in good company when the WHITE HOUSE is listening to your show. We have pretty compelling evidence that suggests that President Obama listens to the show and keeps up with the YMH lingo. Maybe he'll be on the show soon? Hope so. If you and your boys are planning on getting together for a fun night of bro'ing down you should get a Naughty Boy and take that party to the next level! It's been a minute, but TOP DOG is back and he's got one of his "great ideas." Plus, you guessed it, he has a dump story. As if that didn't make you shart your shorts, there's MORE! OMG Maria is on this ep! She tells the uh, "story" of her latest car accident and names a new leader when it comes to foreigners who's language skills/attitudes upset her. You're not ready!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

WHAT WRONG WITH YOU? said the most awesome pastor ever. I'll let him finish his sentence. Have you seen that show, Masturbate Theater? It's pretty good and we have a clip. Mr. Selfridge has a very interesting French character who encourages a nice young English lady to meet his anus. What's up with Pro Wrestling, for real? When do you stop liking it? Do you wear Superman pajamas? Good. This ep has a BIG TIME Dental Update from TINA and a poop story for the ages from one of YOU!! LADIES, trim your tootsie nails - they're not supposed to hang over the edge. We discuss in a new NAILS segment. And, you guessed it, there's more sayin of You Know What I'm Sayin - You know what we're sayin?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No need for a big description here - it's LIVE from San Francisco (Man Frandisco). Put on your old denim panties and enjoy this one (it's full of treats)! J-J-J-JEANS UNIT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ain't nothin in life free. P***y would be at the top of that list, especially for an ex-pat roided out Aussie pimp handling his Thai ho's. Make sense? Dude has some good points and a LOT of job stoppers (you'll soon understand). A man violated the safety and sanctity of our neighborhood in front of Tina and inTO a Yoplait (possible future sponsor?). We go to the Forensic Files to see if we can solve the case! Do families that masturbate together just, basically, get along the best? We just don't know. Tina left behind a life in the KGB to come to the US of A and today is the anniversary. Will she be allowed to stay? Obama decides! Wiping with a MAN'S wipe is new for Lady Jeans. We can't wait for her review. Most IMPORTANTLY we break down the new and accepted criteria for crowning the You Know What I'm Sayin Champion and it's a real GAME CHANGER. It's spring time, get that seasonal denim out!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices