All Purpose Cleaner

Every life is made better by a loving animal companion. Whether you are: freaking out about cat labor, killing birds with facial cleanser, exposing dogs to poisoned coconuts or introducing your pet to creative and disgusting uses for peanut butter, we are here to commiserate (well, maybe not the last one). Pets-Master Advertisements

  We are sorry to say, Christmas is over.  But don’t worry, New Years Eve is just around the corner and we’re here to guide you through it all. Whether you are resolving not to commit as many felonies this year as last, crushing your best friend’s heart or engaging in an annual tradition that […]

It is that time of year. Festive lights, annoying music, laughing children and disembodied Snow White head ornaments. That’s right, its Christmas. This week we discuss grandma stabbing Robb for a a pair of porcelain balls, Patrick’ s heartless gift giving traditions, John’s utter neglect of his youngest child, Ross’ possession of the aforementioned disembodied head and Ami’s unmitigated decorating […]

Sisters are doing it for themselves! That is right, on this week’s episode of All Purpose Cleaners we find out what beats at the strong resilient core of a woman. Our all female panel discusses: powerful women, lessons for their younger selves, and the challenges of being a female comedian. Also, boobs; but in a very […]

Did you have three pink peg wives (or blue peg husbands)? Did you always insist upon playing Miss Scarlet because she was so damned hot? Did you try to convince your little brother that qazer was an Arabic word for “used soap”?  Did you keep pink 100 dollar bills in your pocket and red houses up your […]

Welcome. Won’t you step into the DEAD center of the room. We’ve being DYING to meet you. It will be a SPIRITED visit. Hopefully, you won’t get eviscerated by the homeless guy we gave two rocks of meth to work the chainsaw. I mean, of CORPSE you’ll have a good time. We love them. Whether they […]

Facebook is going to destroy everything sacred and good. Twitter is the sign of the decline of Western civilization. Tumbler is the new bastion of freaks and sexual deviants. And reddit… well have you ever heard of Michael Brutsh? Of course, its not all bad; unicorn chasers, awesome facebook pet accounts and this twitter account. In this episode […]

Fish don’t fry in the kitchen, beans don’t burn on the grill. Oh yeah, we’re moving on up. By the way, what in the name of heavens do those lyrics mean? Of course, we’re going to suppose it has some kind of faintly racist element; since, after all it was the 70s. But I own […]

So you’re wondering whether you should wax your eyebrows; we have an answer for that. You’re wondering whether you should pluck that stray hair; we have an answer for that. You’re wondering whether you should take the plunge and invest in those double Ds; we have an answer for that. You’re wondering how much product […]

So you’re wondering whether you should wax your eyebrows; we have an answer for that. You’re wondering whether you should pluck that stray hair; we have an answer for that. You’re wondering whether you should take the plunge and invest in those double Ds; we have an answer for that. You’re wondering how much product […]

Like your drunk aunt as she sits on your mom’s Naugahyde couch after Thanksgiving dinner the minute after you announce your plans to get a doctorate in Literature. Like the tattooed and mostly toothless CVS checkout girl when your kid has a slight meltdown because you won’t buy them a bag of Pixie Stix (Now with more sugar!) […]

This week we give you our version of “Inside the Actor’s Studio”; only with more references to pre-teen summer camp tassel spinning contests. (Yes, you read that right, apparently that happened.) During this weeks episode of All Purpose Cleaner we explore the emotional impetus that drives our comedic instincts. If you ever wondered why we do what we do, listen in. […]

This podcast includes simultaneous discussion of  lard, slip and slides, and church camp. Do we really need to say anything else to get you to listen? All right, fine: bears, screaming girls, delirious Ross, neo-Nazi bachelor parties, and high school drinking. Yeah, its that kind of podcast. Click the link below to listen.  WARNING- Adult Content. Camping Master If you […]

We have decided to abandon all pretense. Yes, we have broken the final podcasting taboo and recorded a podcast that features a story equal parts hilarious and “oh, my heavens, why.”  This is the one they will talking about around the office doughnut table, for days to come. (However, after discussing it everyone will also […]

If you forgot to pick up a copy of InTouch while you were waiting to check out from the grocery, we’ve got your back. If you are wondering about the details of what John Travolta allegedly did with a male masseur, we’ve got your back. If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “You know who I […]

A few tips: if you think Ross’ is about to break-up with you, loan him your car, then steal it; if you think Kristin is about to break-up with you, join a cult; if you think Rob is about to break-up with you, move into his apartment complex. During this week’s episode of All Purpose […]

We blow the lid off of J. Edgar Hoover’s intimate involvement in one of histories greatest tragedies. We show you how your wii is contributing to the slow deliberate decline of Western civilization. We out one of America’s greatest statesmen. In other words, in this episode of All Purpose Cleaner we make ourselves the subjects […]

What ever happened to the golden age of television comedy? Who is the most annoying sitcom sidekick? When did Happy Days really “jump the shark”? Whose hotter Uncle Jesse John Stamos or ER John Stamos? What would Barbara Billingsley be like in the sack? Have you ever asked yourself these questions? Do you have many […]

And now for some advice that you can really use. And by “can really use” we mean of course “probably can’t effectively use at all” and “if you do use, we can be neither liable nor culpable”. In this crazy world we all need someone with whom to share our journey; and what better way […]

If you have ever come home to find your wife’s delicates in your sock drawer, after listening to this podcast you’ll knew whose ass to kick. If you have ever thought about doing something really mean to Kristin, after listening to this podcast you won’t. If you have ever received a moldy loaf of zucchini […]