The Dating Den

Marni and Chris examine the dynamics in the relationships that make up the reality series, Love Island, to get a grasp on the faux-pas when it comes to dating. Dissecting the little tricks that we all do when out in the dating world, the duo ponders questions of love, betrayal, conflict and loyalty. Much of the way in which the contestants behave on the series is mimicked in our own behavior IRL. The insecurities that rear their heads just as soon as we’ve started to get comfortable with someone or the constant worry of whether or not we should trust him, are some of the questions that keep us all up at night when falling in love. How the contestants on Love Island interact with each other is a treasure trove of lessons as to the dos and don’ts in our own dating lives.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Be aloof, but not too aloof  - How to hit that spot between sexy and sweet   - Don’t compare him to your ex  - How does he handle an issue?  - How to deal with conflict  - Vulnerability is never easy   Does Ma

Marni welcomes Dr. Shawn Haywood, founder and owner of Reimagine Love, in the Life Check Yourself studio, to discuss how to reignite the spark, and adopt a conflict-free relationship. Dr. Shawn, who’s worked in the field for over 23 years, delves into the tools and tips for learning to reverse-engineer your relationship and get back to that happy place. In this episode, the duo talks about what it takes to make a relationship work and how we, sometimes, self-sabotage by constantly repeating the same patterns on an individual level. This behavior inevitably seeps into our romantic life. By setting up certain systems with your partner, to undo what years of unconscious habit-building have brought on, couples can find that fight-free space together.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to break bad habits   - Create your own unique system  - Start a problem list   - How to reconnect when you’re disconnecting   - Let go of blame   - Don’t manage conflict, outgrow it  Lay Down Your Emotional Weapons [03:32] It

Marni and Chris look at the relationships and friendships that define the reality series, Love is Blind, to better understand our own behavior on the dating scene.  The contestants on the series are archetypes of dating that we are prone to meet when out in the world on our quest to find love. What are the tell-tale signs of the man who’ll break your heart? Is the mysterious type so attractive? And how can you pick up on the warning signs before walking into yet another train wreck? The duo ponders over the do’s and don’ts of coupling up, and what the traits we should be looking out for by taking a deep-dive into the contestants most obnoxious and most loveable characteristics.    Takeaways from this episode:  - He’s not straightforward  - How to tell if he’s an F-boy   - Does he act the same with everyone else?  - Don’t dismiss the goofball  - What are Boomerang boys?  - How to tell if he’s actually a good listener    Are You Actually Seen or Is He Just That Good? [06:50] We’ve all been duped by an F-boy. We

Marni welcomes Matthew Coast, author and dating expert, to ponder what makes men tick, and how you can attract the right men without compromising on your value system. Matthew has worked with both men and women to guide them on their dating journey. With a podcast that reaches millions of listeners, Mathew helps women shift their mindset to attract a high-quality man and high-value relationship. In this episode, the pair talk about what it means to know your value, and how to convey that. How your partner reacts to you is an indicator of his character, and his character is a good sign as to how this relationship will grow (or not grow). So, what is it that resonates with men? And how can you assert your value?    Takeaways from this episode:  - It’s about your mindset  - Be Direct  - How to be valued by your partner  - What drives him wild?  - Don’t obsess over your checklist   - His character is a good indicator Your Clothes Don’t Need to be Gucci, as Long as Your Mindset is [02:15] It all begins with the

Marni welcomes Bobbi Palmer in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they delve into the journey (read: trek) that is relationships, and love. The duo look at the little self-sabotaging traps we all find ourselves in and what we can learn from them. Bobbi is the founder of Date Like a Grownup. She’s a mentor and dating coach, who’s been helping women understand themselves and their dating patterns for the past 15 years. She was a first-time bride at 47 who found her happy-ever-after at an unconventional age. In this episode, Marni and Bobbi discuss how women create patterns that they keep returning to over and over again. These detrimental patterns then turn into the cycles that go on to define their relationship behavior and their general outlook on love. Bobbi encourages women to look inwards even when the fear of rejection and failure stares back at you.     Takeaways from this episode:  - How to break the cycle  - It takes courage   - Visualize what you want, it’s out there  - Tip the balance   - Why do y

Marni welcomes world renowned author and life relationship coach, Bryan Reeves, in the Life Check Yourself studio, to discuss the dynamics in a relationship. The author of the recently released book, Choose Her Every Day (or Leave Her), Bryan delves into the semantics of how men perceive things versus how women perceive them. In this episode, the pair talk about what connection actually means, and how it is defined in relation to a person’s experiences throughout life. Men and women aren’t wired the same, but that doesn’t mean that men don’t desire intimacy just as much as women do, they just go about it differently. Marni and Bryan look into the misconceptions and stereotypes that have given men a bad rep; and how women have interacted with these preconceived notions ingrained in us by society.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Is he an F-boy or actually profoundly sensitive?  - Men perceive connection differently than women  - How to communicate your needs  - A relationship of invitation vs a relationship

Marni, Chris and Dr.Emily use reality tv show, Love is Blind, as a blueprint for the behaviors and habits that should have you running for the hills. The contestants’ actions and reactions echo much of the dos and don’ts that we fall into when dating IRL. The trio ponder the signs that could be used as a warning hazard when it comes to jumping into the dating pool. They take a deep dive into the interpersonal interactions that are part and parcel of the reality show and much of the time, our own lives.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Collect your own data before making a snap judgment  - Forgiveness is important  - No one’s agreeable round the clock  - His transparency is a good sign  - Does he avoid conflict at all costs?  - Love takes work   Should You Listen to His Friends? [12:18] When his friends tell you he’s flaky, should you believe them? Or maybe they’ve convinced you that he’s selfish, should that be a warning sign for you to run for the hills?  It’s natural for your instinctive reaction to lean

Marni welcomes Sarah Baldwin, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and Trauma Coach in the Life Check Yourself studio, to inspect the system that controls all of our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Sarah was trained at the Polyvagal Institute, and has worked with different modalities including attachment and nervous system regulation. In this episode, the pair look at the driver, or rather the soldier behind our anxieties; our stress; our fear; our rage; as well as our feelings of joy, creativity, wonder, intimacy and peace. Sarah breaks down the role our nervous system plays in the wide spectrum of human emotion. It is a system that plays a pivotal role in the regulation of our sensations, our thoughts and our relationship with ourselves and the world.    Takeaways from this episode:  - How to change your behavior   - What’s the autonomic nervous system got to do with it?  - Shutting down is your body’s way of protecting you  - Where does it all begin?   - Your past informs your present behavior  - Why doesn

Marni welcomes mindfulness and soulfulness coach, and podcast host of On This Walk, Luke Iorio, and they delve into what it takes to lead a purposeful life. The former CEO and president of the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC) shares his own personal journey with finding his way back to himself, and as a result to leading a life of inner balance and connection. Having helped thousands of clients and listeners in their quest for meaning, Luke divulges the tools to help you reconnect with your true self. It’s about awareness, rather than blame; courage rather than shame; and owning your role within your own life.  Takeaways from this episode: - What are the questions you should be asking yourself? - How you can live life on your own terms - Change is fluid - The universe is constantly conspiring to make you whole - Awareness is the first step - How to own your role in the situation   It’s Not About Making Lemonade Out of Those Lemons [08:47] When you bear in mind that whatever rough spot

Marni, Chris and Dr.Emily, get into the sticky business that is money, especially when it comes to couples. They point out the issues that surface (or don’t for some) with the couples on reality TV show, Love is Blind, and ponder what we can learn from them. The situations that arise on the show mimic much of what goes on with us in our own personal lives, and we’re forced to take a hard look at our own values surrounding money. When is it the right time to start talking about it? Is a prenup a no-no? Is there a deeper meaning to be gleaned from asking for one? We all wonder about how to broach the topic once things start taking a turn for the serious, but it remains a sensitive subject where we’re required to tread carefully.    Takeaways from this episode: When to set a financial plan with your partner Disagreeing isn’t the same thing as gaslighting  What’s the code of conduct when it comes to talking money? Leave Open-casting in 2022 Instagram isn’t a good indicator of who a person is Financial infidelity

Marni and Chris take a look at the interactions between the contestants on reality show, Love is Blind, to decipher the ranking code men have for women. Should it be abolished? What even is it based on? And why do we allow men to rank us to begin with? As they navigate through the show’s hottest drama, the duo discusses whether there is such a thing as too much honesty; why men do the things they do; and how women should respond to certain behavior. They ponder whether women are indeed from Venus, and men from Mars. Spoiler alert: they are, respectively.    Takeaways from this episode: Down with the ranking system How much honesty is too much honesty? How to optimize what you have  The medium is the message Should you give stock to his intentions? What’s the open-casting approach?   The Open-casting Approach Should be a Lifestyle, Not a Trend [01:52] First things first. The title, open-casting should be abolished, but the approach itself stays. So, what is the open-casting approach? It’s what Life Check You

Marni welcomes Dave Neal in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss what some of us could be doing wrong when it comes to dating. Using the contestants on the Bachelor as a point of reference, they talk about the different types of men (and women), and how they come off versus who they really are. Dave is a podcaster dubbed by Marni as the “King of Bachelor Nation”, and a stand-up comedian. Marni and Dave ponder why the behavior of some of the contestants hits so close to home. Falling in love is tough business, and sometimes you need to put in the work and accept that maybe you’re letting your ego get in the way. In this episode, the duo talks about how to look past the superficial, and who to give a chance to and when. And more importantly, why no one is living up to the idea you’ve built for yourself of the right person. Because sometimes it really is you, and not him.  Even pretty people have insecurities How to keep your ego from getting in the way Who are the ones you should root for? Get to

Marni and Chris analyze the couples on reality TV show, Love is Blind, and dig into how and why their behaviors change once they’re out of the pods. They draw parallels between the contestants’ actions on the reality show, and our own interactions with our partners when we’re dating IRL. Marni and Chris ponder why our insecurities manifest when we’re dating, and how they, in turn, affect the person in front of us. Asking the questions that matter, and giving us the answers, of course, the duo delve into the intricacies of romancing and all that comes with.    Takeaways from this episode:  - Get crystal clear on what you need  - Is honesty always the best policy?   - Why are second dates scarier than first dates?  - His words need to match his actions  - How to let him tear that wall down  - When to accept his apology    He’s Projecting His Baggage Unto You [04:20] After a certain age, we’ve all got baggage. And in a lot of scenarios, we project that baggage onto the person in front of us. That being said, som

Marni welcomes award-winning food and health journalist Carolyn Williams in the Life Check Yourself studio, to discuss a topic that has long plagued women (and men): our bodies. The author, dietician and mother of two, shares her own journey with food and discusses the culprit behind many of our physical ailments. Marni and Carolyn delve into what a healthy diet actually means and how to get on the right track when it comes to eating clean. And good news is that restriction isn’t, contrary to popular belief, not the way to go. Winner of the 2017 James Beard Foundation Award, Carolyn traces much of today’s health issues back to low-grade chronic inflammation. The journalist breaks down what inflammation actually is and how it contributes to conditions like diabetes.    Takeaways from this episode: Forget the diet mentality How you can cure bloating Throw out the stereotypes associated with food Our eating habits are part of our identity What exactly is inflammation and why should you care? Be conscious of how

Marni and Chris break down the dos and don’ts of dating. The duo takes a look at the behavior of the single men and women on reality tv show, Love Is Blind, as they navigate through the messy game that is love. Much of what the contestants do on the show mimics our real-life interactions with each other in today’s dating scene. Marni and Chris consider why it is that people act the way they do in certain situations. They dissect the personas we all put on when meeting someone for the first time; and they question the little quirks we all bring to the table and how they affect the way we present ourselves.    Takeaways from this episode: Show who you are, don’t yell it Too much mystery isn’t a thing, find a balance It’s not about what you do as much as it is about who you are Meet your date’s energy Don’t lay it all out on the first date   When He Tells You Who He is, Believe Him [13:04] Your non-negotiables are your lifeline when it comes to dating. That being said, falling in love with potential isn’t the

Marni welcomes Marc Sholes in the Life Check Yourself studio where they have an in-depth conversation about the human mind. The pair delve into existential questions we all have. Why do we act a certain way in our relationships? Why do we get obsessive when the person we like takes days to respond to a text? Why do we form certain patterns and how can we break them? Marc, who has over 25 years of experience in psychotherapy, is the author of “Reset Your Romantic GPS: Why You Steer Toward the Wrong Partners and How to Change Direction for the Better.” The psychoanalyst, and licensed clinical social worker who has helped individuals, couples and groups to get to the root of their ailments. In this episode, Marc and Marni look into attachment theory, and the different attachment styles that we develop as infants, and then take with us into our adult relationships. They discuss the tools and methods used in our road to recovery, and the sense self-empowerment that comes from standing still and being comfortable i